10/5/21 - What happened to the jam project

I've been avoiding this topic because the state of the project was always changing.

I basically knew I wouldn't finish after I was a week in, but I still kept lightly working on it. School was keeping me busy so that took up the majority of my time. I gave up for real like a week ago and I made a poster based on what I came up with. This is a way for me to put the work I did out there while still leaving the concept open for an other attempt later on. I'm just glad I had the chance to make cool stuff this summer.

Wow, I kind of thought I would have a lot more to say. Maybe I'm forgetting something.

10/1/21 - September ended

And its time to wake up

Anyways, today is the first day that my campus is officially reopened, and I am currently typing this in the library. I've already been going to campus twice a week for a drawing class because it was exempt from the schools online policy. Now I have to go for two other classes as well.

Honestly I'm kind of hyped for this month. Its looking like I'm getting back on track with my work which should give me enough free time to watch Over the Garden Wall again. I also just like the fall weather. I get to wear sweaters again.

Okay my teacher is talking about actual important stuff now so bye.

9/30/21 - Clickbaiting my stuff

I haven't paid any attention to my Youtube channel since I went all in with Newgrounds, but I looked at it recently and I realize how poorly managed it is. I don't really care for success on Youtube, but it would be nice if the videos at least looked interesting. I know for a fact that I would never click on most of the videos because of the clunky titles.

For example, I would never click on "Club Penguin Schmooves and Schemes (Twitch Highlights EP.5)" but I would click on "I joined a gang in Club Penguin"

I know I wont do it for every video but the majority will be renamed. Not right now though because I don't feel like it.

9/26/21 - Bike is fixed

My bike has actually been fixed for a while now, but I never got around to writing an update to that story. I'm only bringing this up because I mentioned my bike being broken before, so I guess I'm trying to provide a sort of resolution.

I'd say it was worth the cost to fix it because Its still a good bike for the most part. It even feels a bit better now. It still has issues with changing gears, but that's an unrelated problem that's sort of always been there. Its finicky but it works if I tweak it every once in a while. I don't really need the highest gear anyway. I'm excited to take it out again for adventures. And by adventures I mean ride it to the park and vibe out on a bench.

By the way this reminds me of a weird argument I make sometimes about the bicycle being the best symbol of freedom, so stay tuned for whenever I decide to explain that on here.

9/25/21 - Nothing is enjoyable

I'm no stranger to this feeling, but it still catches me off guard every time. Thankfully, this iteration of my dread is rooted in logic, which is much easier to deal with than the kind that manifests itself for no reason.

My issue is that I care about too many things, so focusing on any one objective makes me feel guilty for neglecting the others. My physical health, school work, and personal creative projects are all conflicting with each other causing my life efficiency to plummet. But I don't really need to be healthy, right? I'm probably gonna drop that, at least for now. If everything goes according to plan, I should be in a more stable situation after about two weeks. Just got to hold off until then.

Sorry for being super dramatic and stuff. This is just what happens when I try to make a post everyday.

9/24/21 - 100 people

I haven't acknowledged this on the blog yet, so I figured that I should. I hit 100 followers on Newgrounds like a week or two ago. I know that still isn't a lot, but the number 100 is too appealing for my weak mind to ignore. It's been really nice to feel welcome in that community. Seeing my pico model on the front page banner was cool. At this point, I don't mind if my work never receives attention again because I already feel fulfilled on that front. I haven't been super active on Newgrounds recently, but I'll get back to it whenever I'm not busy.

Now about my laptop, it seems actually functional. I still haven't tested the hdmi port, but everything else works. I've even managed to add the "back to top" button completely from this laptop.

This post is now the the second of two consecutive blog updates. Let's see if I can start a new streak.

9/23/21 - Laptop 2

Remember how one of the few things I've talked about here has been my difficulties with acquiring a laptop. Well, more specifically I was having issues with returning one. Fortunately, this story is over I think?

Today my new laptop came in. Bought it with the money I got from the other that was returned. It's not as good but its also cheaper. I'm typing on it right now and its pretty cool. The other one had almost no functioning ports, and so far, I can confirm that all of the usb ports work on this new one. Hopefully everything works properly, but I won't really know until tomorrow when I test it a bit more. Like I've said before, I'm excited for what this means in terms of my productivity.

Quickly going to mention some other stuff now.

My animation jam entry is probably canceled. I'll talk more about that later.

I lost my blogging streak. Big surprise.

My arms hurt very a lot. I've been working out again and I'm no where near as strong as I used to be. Kinda sad.

I streamed today and that was fun. I was just doing math homework but it was kind of a throwback to my earliest streams. Hopefully able to do more soon.

That's it for today. Gotta get back to laying down. The ceiling isn't gonna watch itself.

9/18/21 - Professor better curve my grade

because otherwise I'm not doing so well in math. Its funny too because this is the easiest math class I've had in years.

9/17/21 - Issues with website

I've realized that at some point, it would be inefficient of me to keep the whole blog on one page. I have to come up with some improved system, whether it be multiple pages, individual pages for each post, or loading functionality. I don't know when I will have the time to restructure this, but I think I can at least make a "back to top" button that will make things nicer for now.

Also since I'm already talking about the website, the search rankings have tanked really bad. Its been bad for a while so I don't think it will ever go back up. I just wish I understood why it moved down so much. I know that its ultimately an unimportant issue, but it bugs me. At least I have conquered the rankings of every other commonly used search engine.

I love how one of the most common topics on here is the website itself. This is some enticing reading.

9/16/21 - I'm tired and I don't want to post

I really want to sleep right now and also its 11:11 while I'm typing this so that's cool. :( Its 11:12 now. But back to my point, I'm just making this post because I don't want to lose my streak. I didn't write anything for Monday but otherwise I've been doing this mostly daily. k bye

9/15/21 - History is Fluid

The majority of my blog posts have been altered in secret. Barely any of them remain in their original form. I can rewrite history and no one can tell the difference between reality and fiction.

But don't worry, the only changes I've made are typo fixes. You see, I've been typing all of the posts into a text editor without spell check, so I've had to fix a bunch of typos. Only recently did I find out that I can enable spell check in this editor, so I hopefully won't be doing this as often any more.

While I have only used this power to fix typos, I like the thought that I can cause paranoia about the contents of this page. Maybe I will just straight up make a post for a day that never originally had one. Nothing is stopping me. I control history.

9/14/21 - i got scammed by a kid on roblox

I would call this a new low point but that would be a disservice to my life. Also it really wasn't that bad.

Basically, I was looking for a new Roblox game to play during class, and I started playing one where you try to survive in a crime infested city. You can work as a floor scrubber to make some money, but the stores in the city only sell stuff like clothes and food instead of weapons. To get weapons, you have to negotiate with other players. I was offered a knife in exchange for 50 in-game Euro. I gave the guy the money and he left. No knife. I got played on roblox.

I forgot everything else I was going to talk about. My shameful story is all that I can think of right now.

9/12/21 - Anime Musicals

Over the past few days, I've been making my way through the Death Note musical. I had no idea that this existed and its really weird. I kinda like it though.

I haven't heard of any other musical adaptations of anime, but I suspect there isn't many. After thinking about it, I've come to the conclusion that Death Note might be the absolute best candidate for a musical adaptation, at least out of anime that I'm aware of. Its short, characters are built around conflicting ideologies, the main character's tragic fate is established at the beginning, and it features gods lamenting over humanity. It was litterally ripe for this kind of thing.

Overall I really enjoyed the first half, but things start to fall apart later in the show. I think the ending just feels a bit too rushed. The music is pretty good though. I might look for more anime musicals, assuming that they're a common thing.

9/11/21 - Additional Historical Event

While I would normally wouldn't have much to say about this, today marks 20 years since the attack on the World Trade Center, so I figured I might say a few words.

I wasn't even born at the time, so I have no memory of the immediate fear and tragedy it caused. All I remember is that the war on terror has been going on throughout my whole life. The recent Afghanistan retreat felt so unreal to me because the U.S. has been there for literally as far back as I can remember. It sucks to know that despite that, the conflict is far from over. I pay my respects to every innocent person killed in the wake of war.

Sorry for the serious post. I'll get back to my typical stupid shenanigans tomorrow.

9/10/21 - Judgement Day

You're either stupid, or not.

In case that anyone reading this is unaware, today marks a significant moment in internet culture. In American notation, the date reads 9/10/21, a sequence of numbers that should seem familiar to anyone with an okay knowledge of memes. The 9+10=21 vine is being celebrated today for this reason.

It's interesting to see how events like this arise out of the dumbest of jokes. It's arguable whether the original vine is even funny, but its impact can't be ignored. I'm not sure if there will ever be another date that lines up with a meme as well as this.

I actually vaguely remember being at school and talking about how the date was 12/12/12. That was honestly cooler than this. Also ultimate pi day on 3/14/15. My teacher brought us pie that day. But yeah, human like when number have meaning.

I don't want to talk about anything else right now. I just wanted to acknowledge this moment because it will never happen again. Except for next month where the European date will be 9/10/21.

9/9/21 - bad vibes

Haven't really gotten much work done on the animation. The main model is a bit further along and I have some stuff written, but I've mostly been focusing on school. The bad vibes come from the fact that I'm procrastinating on school. Even as I just wrote that last sentence, I heard thunder. Today is just giving off bad vibes man.

Oh I almost forgot, more bad vibes. My trusty bicycle that took me through high school is wounded. The crank arm has been loose for a while but it's now unusable. I took a look at it today and it turns out that the whole shaft was messed up. Buying the whole thing new is probably going to be like 40 bucks. I'm probably going to fix it instead of buying another used bike. It means a lot to me at this point so I feel like it deserves to have some money thrown at it.

It's not all bad though. This is all just unimportant in the long run. Whenever I run into a lot of little problems at once, it feels like too much, but I know that I'm complaining about nothing. I just need some time to take things in and set up action plans for everything. Being overwhelmed is what brings out my full potential. Working out usually helps with my stress, so I guess that's what I'm going to do next morning.

In fact, I'm just going to turn my health around again. It's been too long since I've done any running or training. It's time for me to regain my strength. Let it be known that I am beginning a new redemption arc. I'm gonna kill the bad vibes, no matter the cost.

9/6/21 - Really nice day

I didn't have class today because of Labor Day, so I finally sort of got a break from catching up on school work. I enjoyed my freedom for a good chunk of the day, but the rest of my time was spent working on my newest project.

3d render of a cartoon spaceman'
An in-progress character model for the new project.

The model is still going to be worked on plenty, but this is a decent start. I hope that I can keep up the pace because rendering the video might take up more time than I would like it too. There's going to be a lot of stuff like glass, which will probably force me to render at higher samples.

I feel like I'm going to have a fun time working on this, even if I don't end up making the deadline.

9/5/21 - Work starting on new project

I'm still poop busy with school stuff, but plans for my next animation are in motion. I'm going to be making a fake trailer for a short film I wanted to make a while back.

rough sketch of a spaceship'
Sketch from old concept art.

I hope I can do this idea justice. It was originally cancelled because I couldn't come up with a satisfying conclusion to the story, but that wont be necessary for this fake trailer. The idea never went further than my sketches.

Other random thing of note, the current Newgrounds banner has my Pico model on it. It features several models from the newgrounds 3d discord. Pretty cool.

9/2/21 - Too cool for school

Okay I'm actually not too cool for school but I needed a title. This post is just going to be a general update. We'll start with the most relevant stuff and go from there.

I have now surpassed 100 followers on Newgrounds! In celebration of this, I will be smiling today at 1:30 p.m. pst.

Also Newgrounds related, there is only one round left in the Summer Animation Jams. I think it starts tomorrow so hopefully I can get all of my homework done today.

Happy one month anniversary to the website, although I'm almost a week late on saying that. I haven't been posting as much because life has been a bit busy, and I think its reasonable to assume that this will continue. I'm trying to learn a bit of python to write a simple program that should make blog posts easier to make. It will mostly just serve as an excuse for me to learn python, kind of like how _______________ was an excuse for me to learn html + css.

And thats it for today. Gonna do some homework now.

8/22/21 - Completed stuff

I've returned from time warping. I completed my collab entry a day earlier than planned, so that's nice to have out of the way. It was cool to work on that project overall, but it was unfortunately caught in the middle of me being fairly busy. After that I knocked out my animation jam round 4 entry with more time left over than expected. Not by much though. I'm basically just free for this afternoon because I start school tomorrow. Still nice to feel free for moment though.

Alright other updates. My battle with search rankings seems to be over. This website finally shows up on page one if you look up flare145. The only results that show up above it are my other accounts, which is perfect. I have no idea why it was tanking so hard after I initially started to improve the website. It legit went down to the 6th page of results at one point. Really weird.

Might stream soon if school doesn't get in the way. I've wanted to get back to it so hopefully that happens.

8/18/21 - Time Warping

I have two projects to complete in a very short amount of time. The biggest time constraint is my arch nemesis: school. I start my first semester of uni in 5 days. This means that I can only reasonably allocate 2 days per project. This calls for some time warping.

Now you might be thinking, what is time warping? Is it even real? The answer is yes, and its called not sleeping. I can easily add 4 additional hours to every day I work by starting 2 hours earlier and stoping 2 hours later. Over 4 days, this becomes 16 additional hours. This is the kind of stuff high school actually teaches you.

an airplane in a dark airport'
Work in progress screenshot of my collab animation.

The human mind shouldn't be capable of pulling off such a maneuver. I guess its a good thing that I lack one.

8/16/21 - Cool relic

Today I was cleaning my room and I found a comic I drew more than 2 years ago. This was for my first actual art class, which was a fun experience considering that I never thought my drawings would leave the margins of my notes.

A man places an apple on top of his friends head, preparing to shoot an arrow at the apple. After a loud splat, we see the archer seated at a dining table with someone else. 'Hey where's your friend?' 'Well umm...' He arrives and anounces, I made some apple pie.'
Photo of the comic, drawn on an 18x12" paper sheet.

Part of what makes this interesting is that I drew it before starting my now cancelled webcomic. The webcomic was heavily story based, but it was going to have occasional light hearted spin off issues resembling this comic. Its also cool in that I had rarely drawn anything at this scale. Before this, I litterally only doodled on notes and index cards. I'll definitely post some of those eventually.

Now for actual news, work on my newest animation is going according to plan. It's nothing super special, but its nice to be working on collabs. Lot of cool folk out there.

8/12/21 - The long post

This is the post I've been afraid of. The large one. The big boy. The chungus I dare say. I've been trying to keep these nice and short, but I won't today. Mostly because I have to copy and paste in that comment I mentioned before, but also because I guess I got some FLARE145 related updates. Don't question the all caps, I just do that.

First up on the list, my weird common core YouTube comment. I mentioned this in the last blog post, and I'm going to try to give more context. I won't post a link to the video because I don't want to deal with it breaking or anything. The video was fairly new, and I think you could find it with the right amount of internet sleuthing. Anyways, I had no problems with what was said in the video. It was a really nice recap of the story of how U.S. education changed in response to students scoring lower than those in other nations. I'm not sure why I decided to comment. I guess I just find the topic interesting. It got a whopping eight likes so people must really like hearing my thoughts. Man sometimes I type stuff and realize why tone indicators exist. Here is the comment in full:

"I believe I was in fourth grade when I first started encountering common core. At the time, I didn't understand the controversy behind it. I was being told that my education was going to become more difficult for no good reason, and I believed it. I hated going to school because I was told that it had gotten worse. I'm now a high school graduate, and I have a better understanding of what actually happened. In retrospect, I think that I genuinely benefited a lot from common core. My parents never had the opportunity to go through proper education, so they were never going to be able to help me with my homework anyways. My siblings and I were already used to this, so the new curriculum didn't make that into a problem for me. Most of the stuff that people pointed out as nonsense useless explanations were really there to teach effective ways of thinking. I feel like I learned how to learn in a way that is much different than brute force memorization. It was also really interesting to see the push towards classroom collaboration. Especially in math, we worked in groups so often that it helped us to understand how to work with others and build off of each others ideas. The world could use a lot more of this collaborative attitude. I think its funny when people complain about how the American school system is an outdated relic from the industrial revolution, and then simultaneously complain about how common core is too different from the old ways of teaching. Common core was literally the evolution of teaching that people were asking for. Its a shame that it became such a controversial political issue. It tainted my experience at the time, and I wish I could have gone through school without anyone telling me that the government was working against me. Still, I'm glad that I actually learned at school instead of learning to memorize."

Man I just pasted that in and I do not want to read that. Well, onto whatever is next.

Thank you me. Next up is the story of my battle with google search. I want this site to appear when you search flare145 into google, but it never shows up on the first page of search results. I ended up registering my website in google's web optimization tools and it seemed like one of the problems was my lack of mobile compatibility. I had already tested mobile support and it worked fine, but I guess I didn't do it the proper way. I've since made more changes that fixed this, which actually lowered my google search ranking. I think this is because I removed a footer that said something like "flare 145 flare145 FLARE145." This was to increase searchability, and I think it worked? I had to get rid of it because the google optimization stuff said that the page had unreadable text, which was true. I made the footer impossible to actually see so that it just acted as tags. I have meta tags set up too, but they don't seem to work as well. I think removing the footer is what made my ranking go down, so now I'm going to correct it by saying FLARE145 once in a while. I've now done it five times in this post, so I think I'm doing pretty well.

I also want to mention again that more stuff is supposed to be on the website. It just won't be for a while. My hope is that the blog page becomes the most boring part of the site, but until then, little style changes will probably keep occurring. This page especially looks a bit different, and no I will not describe it to future proof this post. You just had to be there to see it.

And now back to vanity. Or maybe not vanity but... I don't actually know. More me centered stuff I guess. Maybe I would call this the boring part but I'm not sure the rest of the post was interesting enough for me to make that distinction. Anyways, I'm talking about the laptop again. This has obviously been a fan favorite topic that even captures the attention of the dead. I hopefully will be bringing it up less often now because I finally dropped it off to get shipped yesterday. That is all.

Well, this has been a long post. I'm actually typing this into google docs instead of directly into the html file like I usually do. Wow I've probably mentioned google more than FLARE145 now. Haha managed to sneak in two more flare145s. Anyways, I think posts should remain short for three reasons. First, this giant block of text looks too daunting to read, and while I don't care if people read it or not, it bugs me that even I would never want to read this. Second, this is going to look really weird in the html for me. And third, idk i forgor :|

8/10/21 - Chill day

Today was a nice day. I was waiting for an other email related to laptop thing so I just drew for a while and watched some YouTube. Hopefully I can get the laptop sent out tomorrow or the day after.

I made a somewhat heated comment on YouTube today. Or at least it felt heated in the moment. I was watching a video about the common core curriculum and I have some opinions on how it affected American education. I think I'll copy and paste it into a blog post soon because it might be interesting.

If everything goes according to plan, I should be spending most of tomorrow working on my collab animation I've been neglecting. I'm hoping I can knock it out this week but my gut is saying that it will take longer.

8/9/21 - Don't want to school

Looks like I'm going to be able to return the laptop. Different departments of the manufacturing company said conflicting things about my warranty, and it took way too long for everything to get sorted out. What an awful experience.

In other news, I'm currently dreading going to university. I didn't get as much financial aid as I had hoped, so I feel guilty for going because it seems like a waste of money. Mostly because I chose to be an art major, and that seems to be like one of the worst degrees you can get. Or at least they don't have quite the same value as some other degrees. I wish I could just take a year off and work on my own stuff to build up a nice portfolio. Maybe I'll just drop out or something. Unless I get better financial aid next year. It would be better for me to stay if that were the case.

It's weird how much teachers believed in my potential for success. I wish I could tell them all that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and that I've always been no different from anyone else. Or maybe they already knew that.

8/6/21 - Things falling apart

The laptop is defective. The headphone jack doesn't work and the usb ports aren't capable of transferring data. I spent a large chunk of my day dealing with customer support hell. I know it's a hardware issue because I've tried every conceivable driver fix. I'm disappointed.

This is the last in a string of events that have wasted too much of my time, and I've made the call to cancel my next animation to prevent me from overworking myself. I'm not looking forward to making a more public post about this, but I'm sure everyone will understand.

8/5/21 - Laptop

I bought a laptop for school this fall, and it arrived today. While computer upgrades came from my money, this is technically bought from my parents money because they are going help with school expenses. The excitement of setting up a new device has eaten away at more of my time, but its worth it because it should make me more productive in the long run. Mostly because I can work on things in more places, but it will also serve as a good machine to remotely control my computer. I've also cloned my repositories so I can make posts to this website from the laptop, which is what I'm doing right now. Really convenient I think.

This morning I was playing minesweeper and I won two games with the same time.

minsweeper screenshot with a time of 275 seconds another minesweeper screenshot with the same 275 second time
Screenshots of this morning's minesweeper games.

I think this might be the fastest I've beaten it too, which is sad when you think about how much I've played minesweeper.

8/4/21 - Time wasting

I've gotten incredibly good at wasting time. I'm supposed to be animating for the animation jam, but I guess I have very low expectations of this one because I can't seem to stay focused for more than 30 minutes at a time. I almost fell asleep 3 times today so thats cool for time. I was actually listening to a podcast today where the hosts were discussing different forms of time wasting and it felt super relevant to my life. Fun coincidence. At least I'm still getting work done, even if its slow.

a doodle of me, looking mostly expresionless, but maybe leaning towards anger
A little doodle from today's time wasting.

8/3/21 - All the Newgrounds love

Man I'm really happy my stuff is doing well on Newgrounds. My newest animation got first place in the second round. Summer Animation Jams. I got seventh on the previous round, so I'm currently second place in total. I don't think I'll score well on the next one, but depending on the themes of the future rounds, I have a shot at keeping top ten.

Also my previous animation got frontpaged seemingly out of nowhere. That means that so far, I've gotton two art posts featured and two videos featured. I guess Newgrounds staff think I fit in. I mostly have BrandyBuizel to thank for my bit of success. He's championed my work quite a bit and I will never forget that.

I've now got a total of 59 fans on Newgrounds, making it my largest following on the internet. I hope that they enjoy my more orginal stuff when it comes out.

8/1/21 - Website plans

Right now, there are only 3 pages, being the landing, links, and blog pages. I plan on having a projects page that showcases work thats gone into my previous projects. Or something like that. It would become a lot more interesting once I get to work on personal projects that I've been wanting to work on for a while now. Not sure when that will happen because school and life, but one day I'll get around to it. I also might make a gallery page, which will act as a previous work portfolio sort of thing.

7/31/21 - First "post"

So this page is going to become my official blog. This website is still very much a work in progress, but its been a fun little thing to work on. This is the grand sequel to my old google sites page which I made back when I was like 11.

screenshot of outdated looking website
A screenshot of my old website, which I had named "the flarin website"

I'm not sure what I'll do exactly with this page. It's mostly here as an homage to the news page on the original website, but It might be fun to post wip stuff from my projects. Not many people will actually see this, so I can probably talk about spoiler-ish stuff related to whatever I'm currently working on. So yeah. Come back once a year or something to see what I've been up too. It might be more interesting than the kind of stuff I put on twitter.

This site was created on July 27, 2021.